I am a 25 year old female, I found out I had herpes in May 2011, I decided I would never be the type of person who kept it to myself but I also wouldn't live my life thinking I deserved to be alone for something that many people live with. I felt like my life was over, I told my mother no one would ever want to be with me because of it and that I was never dating again.
After about a month I decided it was time to start looking at my STD in a different light. Yes, living with herpes I still have my bad days but I honestly believe that this has made me a stronger, more mature, responsible person.
Since I found out that I had herpes I've told 3 guys, and I'm not talking mature 30 year olds, I've told a 25 year old, a 22 year old, and a 21 year old and I got the same response from all of them.
My thing was I decided within the first month of dating them whether or not they were a person I cared about and trusted and I got it over with quickly, within the first month I would sit down with them and explain to them that I have genital herpes and that if that wasn't something they could deal with that we didn't need to take things any further. The first time was the hardest, I felt like crying but I didn't because regardless of what we have we are still beautiful, smart, people who deserve to be loved and treated right regardless of what cards life has dealt us and I will not cry for something that I feel has made me a better person. I also told all of them that if they decided to google herpes not to take everything they read to heart because each persons body is different so to get a general idea and that if they had any questions to ask me, because lets be honest we all know so much about it at this point that we can answer most questions our partners have.
The first guy told me (and I quote) "I'm glad you didn't cry, that would've made things really bad" and we both laughed and then we talked about it, he said that being honest about it is all he asked and we dated for a year and a half, we didn't break up because of my STD but the fact that I was honest helped him trust me from the beginning and I feel made our bond stronger while we were together. The second guy said that God brought me into his life for a reason and again that telling him was more than he could ask for, we dated for 6 months and things ended because of something that had absolutely NOTHING to do with my STD. The guy I'm seeing now I told after 2 weeks, I was completely falling for him way to fast so I decided that I had to know before I got more attached. When I told him he said "I love you." That was the moment I knew none of it mattered anymore, happiness is a mindset, if you believe you deserve it (AND YOU DO DESERVE IT!) then you will have it.
Everyone has bad days, with or without Herpes, you've just gotta keep moving and I promise once you get it over with and see that someone does care about you it'll be like you never had herpes at all. And if by some stretch of the imagination some jerk says he can't deal with it then thank your lucky stars because he didn't deserve you in the first place, you want to be with a caring, compassionate person, not some idiot who thinks he is better than everyone else! If you're honest everything will work out for the best. Just remember, everyday, that you truly are beautiful.
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